Well, I blew it.  I forgot to post.  Does that mean I've lost my faculties?  Mercy I hope not.  I had two back to back appointments early this morning and I guess I made a wheel's up landing.

For those of you who don't remember what I wrote about that from Ken's point of view, it went like this.  A fighter pilot has a take off, and a landing check list.  If something interrupts your sequence, any number of things can happen.  The tower is in charge  of visual checks of an incoming fighter pilot for landing--and if the pilot is distracted by battle damage, low fuel, etc., the pilot can miss a point in his check list--like lowering his wheels.  It happens.  "But not to me," Ken said.

I can't remember where he was, but he told it like this:  "Colonel, lower your wheels," from the tower.  "They're down," Ken replied.  "Colonel, check your wheels."  As Ken told it, "I was a few seconds from landing.  I had gone through an extensive check list for landing and knew I had lowered my wheels in the check.  But I hadn't.  I would have bet my life my wheels were down--and I almost did."

So this morning, I went through my morning check list, and would have sworn that I had lowered my wheels.  I didn't.

I'll do better next week.

We are having a hard freeze tonight.  I will go through my check list and double check that I have unhooked the hoses outside.

The bathroom is finished.  Hallelujah.  Done.  I will start finishing up small details in the rest of the house.  Tony said he would come back, when I am ready for him, and hang drapes.

I went over to my old house and cut off some dried brown okra pods, and collected the seeds for next year.  Ann went with me to get some for her son.  It is a good feeling to collect seed that came from my father's garden from many years ago.  Probably 10th or 11th generation of those seeds.  Life continues.  My dad's okra seeds will be passed down to other generations.  That is a good feeling.

I was flipping channels last night and an episode on Nova caught my eye.  It was on the recovery of the remains of pilots from WW2 who were lost over water.  I shouldn't have watched it.  It was horribly sad, and close to my heart.  I have such a deep emotion for those who have served our country in the military.  Especially those who have come under enemy fire.

For me, the hard part of a program like that is seeing the faces of those men in uniform--taken before they went into combat.  So young.  So determined.  Their lives cut short and lost in some strange place.  Far from American soil.  It is such a great tragedy.

Of course, for me, programs like that hit too close to home.  My husband and both of my sons served in the military during war.  When I think of that, I get a catch in my throat.  I know the stress and anxiety that comes with waiting.  Waiting.  Not knowing.  Fearful, but resigned.  You have no idea whether or not they will come home to you.  Or how they will come home to you.  Or if.

I carry a key chain with a picture of Ken on it.  He is twenty-two or twenty-three years old and is sitting in a Corsair, getting ready to take off on a mission in Korea.  He has a one thousand-yard stare, looking into nothing, not knowing what will happen after he takes off.  He is so young.  He is one of the ones who lived to come home.   Thank God.

But for every warrior that comes home, there are dozens who don't.  I have lived on the reverse side of war for three of my men.  The waiting side.  My heart breaks for those who waited, and who never found out what happened.  And for those who did.

The elections are over.  Thank goodness.  The vitriol was killing me.  I haven't had to endure such devision between people in this country in all my years.  It is wearying.  Exhausting.  People think that they are changing minds by yelling, using horrible language, etc....they aren't.  I think I am going to unfriend everybody on Facebook.  I grew up in a kind, polite world.  It has vanished.

James said, "But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy...the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace."  James 3:17-18.  I am ready for peace.

James also said, "...the tongue is a little member...how great a matter a little fire kindles.  The tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity...it defiles the whole body...no man can tame it.  It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.  Out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing.  Brothers, these things ought not to be so."  James 3: 5-6, 10.

Tony finished the tile.  Tomorrow he will paint, grout and call the job done.  God willing.  For the first time since I moved, I feel like my life is going to be normal again.  It's close.  I am so ready.  My house remodeling....and the elections.  Equal irritations.

On Sunday, my class discussed what "works" are.  James 2: 17, 26 says, "...faith, if it doesn't have works is dead...For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is also dead." I shared with the class that when I had open heart surgery, (I was thirty five with four children)   there was a lady in our church that made soup for me.  Over and over again, week after week.  It was one of the few things I could eat.  There are many works that we do, but we, as Christians, will do something for others.  It is a natural result of the Spirit within.

Works don't save you.  What James was saying was that the Spirit of God within you changes you and produces a servant's heart.  As a matter of fact, James introduces his letter by saying, "James, a servant of God..." You want to help others.  Your "want to" changes.  Paul says you become a new creature. 2 Corinthians 5:17 "...if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature.  Old things are passed away, behold all things are become new."

Every now and then on Sunday, in the class I teach, someone asks a question that gets me going.  Any "If /then" type of question will do it.  can't help myself.  Scientific theory is in my nature.  Basically the question on Sunday was: "Are there things that God can't do, or is he all powerful?"   The correct answer is: there are any number of things that God can't do.  One example is in Titus 1:2. "This truth gives them (Christians) confidence that they have eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised..." God can't lie.  He won't break a promise.

As you search scripture you will find many other things God can't do.  He can't force you to obey him or force you to believe that Jesus is His Son...and on and on.  He has given us free will.  But many people still think God can do anything.  Scripture doesn't support that.

If you start with the premise that the Bible is God's word, and that God doesn't lie, you reach a logical conclusion that God is holy.  He cannot sin.  He is Pure.  Honest.  Trustworthy.  We can go on and on about His attributes.  He does exactly what he says he will do.  He described himself simply as "I am."  And because he cannot deny Himself, there are many things he cannot do.

In class, I shared something I had once done, and one of my members asked "Didn't God know ahead of time what you were going to do?"  It started a discussion about: Can God choose "not to know" something?"  For instance, does he know from the instant a life is conceived whether that person will accept Him?  If He knows, then, does that person have free will?

I personally find nothing in God's nature that wouldn't let Him choose "not to know."  Others disagreed.  "But," I asked, "Since God is the author of life, wouldn't that make God a murderer if he was bringing someone into the world that He knew was condemned for Hell?"

Those kinds of questions make you think about life at the moment of conception.  About life in general.  About free will.  And on and on.  I know what I think.  But I can't back it up with Scripture so there is no point in belaboring abstractions that don't have answers.  God is good.  That's what we know for sure.  He will always do what is right.  

There are lots of questions that don't have answers.  One thing we all agreed on is that God is God, and we aren't.  He will always do what is right because it is His nature.  God, is good.  All the time.

I have spent the last three months wearing a pair of glasses that had only one ear extension.  (The thing that holds them on your ears.)  I finally took them in to be fixed--and found out that they were permanently kaput.  Couldn't be fixed.  If I had done it three months ago, I would not have been pushing them back up onto my nose every few minutes.

I had two pages of notes of things I needed to do, and the glasses kept getting moved to the bottom of the list.  But getting away from the noise of the jackhammer motivated me to get out of the house, and to do something about the glasses.  This week, they are supposed to be here.

I have shared with you before that my method of operation is procrastination.  It serves me well--only because I never let things go undone--only the order in which I do them.  I work really well when desperation sets in.  Desperation this time was the sound of the jackhammer.  I probably would have let taking the glasses in to be fixed,wait.  The thing that stops me from doing tasks like that is getting in the car, driving to where I want to go, parking and getting into the building.  I need a go-fer.

I will do all kinds of tedious jobs I don't really want to do, if I don't have to go anywhere else to do them.  I hand-stitched a quilt for someone last month.  I fold, wrap with tape, and price hundreds of yards of fabric for Becky when she has an estate sale.  I don't mind working.  Just going somewhere.  

And now that winter is coming, I really don't want to get into a cold car and drive somewhere.  So I am very thankful for the jackhammering.  It got me out the door to go get my glasses ordered before winter got here.  Now all I have to do is go pick them up.  I will then be able to see, and mark fixing them off my list.  Things will go better.  I have a number of jobs I need to do that require glasses!!!

I just wrote in the last paragraph, "winter is coming."  Which means...."can spring be far behind?"  I found a man this last week to roto-till my yard in the back.  He planted eleven shrubs along the back of the house.  It looks fantastic.  I planted twenty or thirty Iris bulbs that were offshoots of my Mom's Iris.  Purple flags. This man, Ron, said he would build me a raised bed along the fence in March where I can plant my okra, tomatoes, peppers, asparagus, parsley and kale.   Just writing about it gets me excited.  God sent Ron just when I needed him.   Spring is coming.  Five more months.

There is sheetrock dust all over my house.  And dust from where Tony used a jackhammer taking out the broken tile in the bathroom.  I have been coughing and wiping my eyes every few minutes.  My advice to all of you out there is:  Take a vacation--leave the house when there are renovations that have to be done.  Or buy a new house.  One that isn't 35 years old and doesn't need renovations.

This will be over soon.  I will have to hire a cleaner to get the dust out of everything when it is over and done.  Enough!!  I'll quit whining.  I promise I won't say another word about this.  I'm done.  I'm thankful that I have someone to work for me.  Tony is a blessing.  He does excellent work.  And he cleans up his mess (in as much as is possible) at the end of every day.

My solution to all these problems is to go get my hair cut.  That always makes a woman feel better.  And Lindsey--my niece--is coming to have lunch with me.  All of that will keep me out of the house for most of the day.  Give my eyes and cough a chance to abate.

So--the question is--did I do the right thing?  Absolutely.  Yes.  I love my house.  I love my flat driveway.  And I'm breaking even--which makes it even better.  The only thing I lost was the third garage.  Which I certainly don't need.  I am blessed.  I keep thinking about the verse from James that I wrote about yesterday:  "Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights; In whom there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."

God is so good.  When I look back over my eighty years, I am struck by all the wonderful things that came to me by the hand of God.  Which I didn't deserve.  Which I didn't earn.  My parents Christian faithfulness to bring me up in a house dedicated to Christ and His church.  To Bible study.  To memorizing scripture.  I can't say enough good about them.  And also for Ken's parents who did the same for Him.  Ken's dad was my pastor, and his mom was my Sunday School director.

Especially for sending Ken to be my husband.  Because of our parent's friendship with each other, Ken and I met each other.  And because of the training they put into our lives, Ken and I were looking for the same things.  Fifty-seven years we spent together.  What a blessing. Was it all peaches and cream?  Of course not.  Was it wonderful?  Absolutely.  God's gifts are perfect.

Once again, my house is torn to pieces.  The master bath has been gutted.  It would have been done months ago, but Tony, who does my remodeling, has been torn up himself and is two months behind on his word schedule.  Austyn, his son, was in that terrible wreck that killed his grandfather---and Tony's entire family has been putting their lives back together.  In as much as they can.

But today, all the demolition is done, the soaker tub is in, and the floor tile is going down.  Hopefully, by next Friday, it will be finished.  I do not have the patience that I had three months ago when I redid the other house.  And the entire "moving at the same time you are remodeling" project has worn me down.  I want to go back to whatever is normal--or some equivalent of normal.

There are still drapes to be hung.  Small jobs that I am going to do someday when I feel like it--which may not happen until next year.  Or ever.

I don't have the patience that I had three years ago when I moved to Edmond.  I wear out quicker and give up more easily.  And then I sit down and watch Hallmark movies for awhile.  And sometimes fall asleep in the middle.  They are all alike.  You know how they are going to end.

Patience.  I remember Ken's mother telling me: "Don't ever pray for patience!!  You are only asking for trouble if you ask for patience."  I was reminded of that while teaching the letter James wrote.  He said in James 1:3-4 Know this: the trying of your faith causes patience.  But let patience have her perfect work..."  Ken's mom said, "When you pray for patience, you just get more tribulation."

The next verse, however, says what you should be praying for instead.  "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men liberally..."  So, don't ask for patience, ask for wisdom.  Patience is a learned skill.  It's sometimes referred to as "maturity."

I'm feeling very mature lately.  I'm certainly wiser than I used to be.  I am never going to move again of my own free will.  They are going to have to carry me out of this house in a box.