I read to Pat every day when she was little, and I would hold her in my lap and sing to her by the hour.  I tried to be a good mother.  But as she grew older,  we were like oil and water.  Becky, 18 months younger, was easy to raise.  Pat was not.  We just seemed to get on each other's nerves.

By the time Pat graduated from high school, the pattern was set.   I loved her,  she loved me.  But I can't say that either of us liked the other very much. Occasionally there were good periods--which didn't last.  She was extremely capable, smart and creative.  She worked her way through college without our help.  She was always able to stand on her own two feet.  But, once she was gone, we rarely heard from her.  Then one day, at the end of her senior year in college, she called me and said, "Would you come get me, I want to move home."  Of course I went and got her.  Immediately.  It was the first time she had ever asked me to do something for her.

She married, had two daughters which I adored, and slowly we began to interact in a better way.  I started to appreciate the stubbornness she had inherited from me.  I began to better understand who she was.  She began to appreciate who I was, and how hard I had tried to be a good mother.

I said yesterday, that the relationship I have with her now, was unexpected.  It is.  She opens doors for me and holds my elbow when I get in or out of the car.  She grips my arm when we walk so that I don't stumble.  She drives in from the country and takes me to all my appointments.  In every way, she cares for whatever I need.  She repeatedly tells me that if and when the time comes that if I need care, she doesn't want me to move out of my home.  "I want you to live where things are familiar, and are surrounded by your pretty things.  I'll help you."

Unexpected.  Also undeserved.  We were mismatched.  God must have had a plan that I didn't, that I don't, understand.  Because of all the people in my life, I never expected Pat to be my companion when I grew old.  But she is.  I must have done something right.  Perhaps she learned something from me after all.  You love the people that God gives you.  You take care of those you love.  And when you learn better, you do better.  Pat and I are friends.  A totally unexpected phenomenon.  I have two perfect daughters.  One was easy.  One was hard.  Both are wonderful people, and I thank God for them both.  I don't deserve them.