I imagine you think I vanished. I have been really sick.  Which is not a really good time to be trying to write something.  Things are better today.  They have me on “Boost”  Don’t do the vanilla.  It is awful.  But the chocolate is bearable.  Three times a day.  I don’t have any appetite anyway so it doesn’t matter.

I walked around the block yesterday--stupid, stupid, stupid.  I need to forget about walking and get my mind back in gear and start telling you my stories.

I got a text from Austen McCauley (New York Publisher) that the book about my brother Bill (The Macau Mavrick) will be published in November.  Do I believe that?  No.  I’m just hopeful.  His life was such a sacrifice...the world should hear about it.  I hope to be at Hardy’s book store and sign copies when it comes out.  Hope...I’m hopeful.  Bill will turn 80 on Nov. 27...the story needs to come to readers...now.

    I actually found a box of gluten free blueberry mix.  And now I remember why I’ve quit cooking.  Stirring something rotates the arm---which rotates the entire spine.  And an 85 year old spine doesn’t rotate very well.  I’m trying to recover right now by doing nothing!!  No more stirring for me.   

    I found dozens of choices of gluten free stuff at the store.  I am on a new journey.  Trying to find something that tastes good.  The bread isn’t bad if you toast it.  I made stroganoff, I found all the ingredients that were approved except for onions.  There will never be a substitute for onions, so I will have to get used to doing without them.  I really wonder what people did with this diet fifty years ago when nothing was available.

    I’ve learned to like popsicles.  I bet it’s been fifty years since I had a popsicle!  And if you don’t know about Fairlife milk, check it out.  It doesn’t go bad for months.  I’m not a milk expert, but it’s pretty good.  Enough.  You don’t want to hear about this unless you are also gluten and lactose intolerant!!!   

    

    I went to Walmart this morning.  I think that is the first time I’ve been there in three years.  My neighbor Jeaninne buys my groceries...I am totally thankful for how much she helps me.

    The thing that shocked me was how big it is.  Overwhelming. I wanted to find gluten and lactose free foods to make an adjustment to my new food regulations.  There are lots of choices, but the most important thing on my list was mushroom soup and sour cream.  Which I doubted I would find.  Surprise! They have those.  Of course they were at least three times as expensive as the others, but I am thankful.  I can make stroganoff.  I can have rice--so I am in business.  Even at three times the cost, it’s cheaper than eating out.

    I am sure that in the past, people who had those restrictions were not able to manage at any price.  But by having an aisle in the grocery of gluten free products, and many milk products that are lactose free, it was not as bad as I thought it would be.  I am just going to have to learn how to adapt--which is not one of my better qualities.  I’ve been relatively pain free since I gave up and did what the doctor told me to do.  I am going to have to conform.  I’m trying.  Everyone tells me I am strong minded and independent.  I think I’m going to have to agree. 

I would be surprised  all of you haven’t given up on me.  I’ve been really sick for weeks.  But today---maybe I am going to be back to normal soon.  I hope so.

We have been in the book of Daniel for the last few weeks.  The first chapters are okay, but the last ones are about the second coming---and there is no way I can figure out for sure what it is saying.  Daniel even said that he didn’t understand his dream.

Applying historical data (about a figure in the Old Testament) to everyday living is difficult.  Carolyn says the lesson for next week is that the evil in the world is strong, and we need to pray that God will lead our choices as to what  we are doing.  I agree, but as a teacher, there isn’t much to say, and it sounds “preachy” to tell people to pray more.  Even if that is what we should do.  I looked ahead in the quarterly and we are going back to the book of John.  Hallelujah.  I am a New Testament teacher.  “How do I apply this to my life,” kind of teacher.  I know Jesus is coming back again, but I need to stay connected to God Today.  There is an entire chapter in the N.T. about the word “Today.”  Apply what you know.  Learn more to apply.  

I hope I have not lost all of you.  I have been very ill for a week.  I had a procedure on Monday a week ago, and go back to the surgeon today for evaluation.  I don’t have cancer...Praise God in heaven above.

We are studying Daniel.  As brave as he was, you would think we would hear more about him.  He was prepared ahead of time--for the problems and danger he faced.  

God is not an insurance policy in case of fire.  You can’t wait until the moment of danger to get acquainted with him.

One thing I have learned is that He is there for me.  He cares for me.  I used to think that “God so loved the world...” before I came to realize completely that, “God so loved me...” It is not just a general statement, it is very personal.  He loves me.  He loves you.  That’s what is behind everything he does.

Trusting God is easy to say and hard to do.  We know what we want, and when we tell God that we are putting things in his hands, it is sometimes so difficult.  In other words we take our problems to the Lord and when we get back off our knees, we take them back with us.

Basically, we sometimes want to treat God like an insurance policy.  We want Him to be there when we need him, but we will take care of everything else.

Depending on God means not relying on yourself every time you have a problem.  There is peace when you really give a problem to Him.  But you have to let go of it.

We usually pray, “Lord I want your will...but...”  I’m working on that.  He has a bigger picture than our momentary desires.  There is purpose in what he does, and we are not the center of the universe--even though we think we are.  It helps to keep in mind that he really loves you.

After over 2500 posts, you would think I would find an easier way to do it.  But if it involves research, it ain’t gonna happen.  So every time I start to write to you all, I have to set the font size and type of font.

I eat in spurts.  One month (or two) it was sliders.  Then Quiche, then sweet and sour chicken, then fried rice, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and so on.  This month it is beef stroganoff.  I’ve eaten that every day for the last two weeks.

But basically, I’m not hungry.  I remember one time I asked Ken what he wanted for supper and he said, “Whatever you fix.”  He never complained.  But he followed that statement with, “Eating is just a habit, anyway.”  I guess being on the go, as a Marine jet jock, you ate whatever you got whenever you got it.  He just ate whatever I put in front of him.  Looking back, I appreciate that.