My son Scott took me to dinner on Mother's day.  It is probably one of the few decent meals I have eaten in the last few days.  My breakfast choices have been especially pitiful.  In the last week for breakfast, I ate a half of a left over chili coney from Sonic.  The next morning I ate a piece of bread with some left over brussle sprouts.  One morning  I ate a stale piece of leftover Christmas fruitcake.  Like I said, pitiful.

I just don't seem to be able to work up the passion to cook.  It's easier to just eat something. Whatever is stuck in the fridge.   I know, I know, I have to do better.  And I will.  I am.  But really, a Sonic coney, and brussel sprouts aren't bad.  They are just unusual.  Who cares if they are a normal breakfast.  The important thing is that I am eating.  That is important because I lost thirteen pounds and I don't have thirteen pounds to lose.

No, I am not depressed.  And no, I am not lazy.  It is just that for the last three years, I have spent many many hours cooking special meals.  I'm just "cooked out".   Ken couldn't have salt, milk products, tomatoes, etc., etc. and potatoes had to peeled and soaked over night to remove the potassium.  His doctor called me the "Food Nazi" because I so rigorously adhered to giving him the diet that he needed.  It made a big difference in his quality of life, but it took a lot of preparation.

Now that it is just me, I can't figure out what I want to eat.  I have never thought about what I wanted to eat.  I just ate what he did.  I went through the pantry Saturday, for the Postal Food Drive, and emptied it out.  I kept what I would actually fix and eat.  Which wasn't much.

I've been reading the Old Testament every night.  I have never done that in order, only in bits and pieces.  Some of it is really hard to read.  But I have been  underlining the parts that I might want to go back and read again so that I don't have to wade through all the parts that were difficult.  The 'begets' etc.   I stumbled over a verse in Jeremiah that I had memorized years ago.

Jeremiah 15:  "Your words were found, and I did eat them: and your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart: for I am called by your name, O Lord God of hosts." So I am digesting something.   And yes, I am going to figure out a new normal for eating.