People ask me when I was "saved" and to tell you the truth, I don't know.  For some people it is instant.  For me it had a beginning and an end over time.  It began when I answered that voice within and responded in the only way I knew how.  I was moved.  I wanted salvation and so I went forward in a church service and "got it."  I didn't repent because I didn't have anything that I knew of to repent from.  I was only seven or eight years old.

But  I took a step in the right direction.  I responded.  Don't ever stop a child from responding because you don't think they know what they are doing.  I knew what I was doing.  I was answering God's voice.  There is a verse in the Bible where Jesus says:  "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me;  And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand."  St. John 11: 27-28.  I was following the best way I knew how.

I think God "had me" at that point.  I was in his hand.  But I really didn't understand much.   As I grew up, I knew I was missing something.  I decided it was because I really hadn't understood the meaning of Baptism and so I was baptized again.  Dunking me in water again didn't help my condition.

By the time I was twenty three I recognized that I was sinful.  Greedy.  Selfish.  Proud.  Basically I was a Pharisee.  I needed to repent.  God convicted me (again, by the tug in my soul)  I repented.

But still, something was missing.  It took three more years and a dear friend's advice before I finally found peace.  "You don't trust God.  Oh, you do with yourself, but not with Ken or your children.  You think you are in control and if you let go, God will take one of them from you.  You need to give them all back to God and let him decide what is best.  They're his anyway."

I had already lost one child.  And I thought it was God's fault.   She was right.  I didn't trust God.  And that was my final step to salvation.  He had held me in his hand.  No one could pluck me out.

It took weeks and weeks before I worked out just exactly what "Trust in God" would mean in my life.