So, there I was--in the hospital with pneumonia.  Ken was trying to manage two little girls that didn't have a clue who he was--he'd been gone 13 months.  And then the nurse told me I was pregnant.

I got well physically from the pneumonia, but not emotionally--I was emotionally shot.

I had spent the previous year with my parents, and on top of everything else, my mom had given birth to my sister--unexpected, to say the least. My sister and Becky were born 7 days apart.  Which meant that I was 21 years older than the only sister I ever had.   It was a year to be remembered.  At least we had a washing machine.  Three babies in diapers.  Still no Pampers.  Not invented yet.  The washing machine never stopped and there were always diapers drying on the line. And stacks of dry ones ready to be folded.  (There is an art to folding a diaper.)

I was pregnant again.  Emotionally drained.  Nothing left.  And once again in a town where I didn't know a soul.  It didn't matter.  I didn't have time for friends anyway.

Eight months later, we moved again.  From Woodbridge to Triangle, Va.  Closer to base which was good.  It was easier to take Ken to work the closer we were to base.  Two weeks later, I had Amy.

When God creates a human boy, or girl, he sends that child to parents whom he plans to raise them.  God entrusts you with His children!  During the nine months I was pregnant, I should have been thankful that He was giving me a third child. (In four years.)  Once she arrived, I didn't know what my problem had been.  She was perfect in every way.  I loved her.  I knew that I would make it with three babies.  I was strong--and God doesn't give us things we can't handle.

 But when she died, it was devastating.  It was like God was saying, "You didn't want who I was sending you, so I am taking her back."  I know that isn't true.  But my attitude had been so terrible when I first got pregnant, that I felt it was my fault.  Even though I had adjusted to the fact that I was going to have another child, I beat myself up.  Truth was, Amy lived a full life in 9 days.  She changed Ken and me completely and forever.  We became better people.  We became better parents to the two daughters we had.   We were never again the same people.