Remember back when we all took those "Love Language" tests. Supposedly, it would identify how you like to have love expressed. My language definitely is not receiving gifts, although I like to get them if it is something that I need. Like homegrown tomatoes. And it isn't candy, flowers, soft music, or romance. I do want to hear "I love you" occasionally from those who genuinely love me. But I don't need constant attention. Don't send me roses, I would rather that you clean the sink. Do something for me that needs to be done. My first love language is service. Wash the car.
My second love language is "Appreciation." I am a glutton for appreciation. I love to hear "Thank you" and to know that I have done something that someone needed. Or wanted. I guess that does overlap praise, but I really don't need anyone to "Build me up". I do like it when someone tells me that I have done something that has special meaning to them.
The reason I say all that is to remind us that we need to learn and remember the way that other people receive love. Learning how do that takes time. We are all so different. If I really want to give Ken a love gift, I will leave him alone for an hour or two (or two or three) and just let him "Be". He's quiet. I'm noisy.
Remember that when God tells you to love your neighbor as yourself, that your first neighbor is your spouse. Then your family. That doesn't mean that you are to love them in the way that you receive love, but in the way that they receive love.
God seems to know how to express love better than we do. He gave us a perfect gift. Eternal life. That ought to work in any love language.
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