Another woman said, "What frustrates me the most is that I am afraid I'm not going to get everything done that I need to do--before I'm gone.  I don't want to leave a bunch of stuff for my family to have to deal with like my mom and dad left me.  I doubt my folks knew how difficult it would be."

"And the things in my home that I love, nobody in my family wants. What I thought was a treasure, my children think is junk.  I can't figure out what to throw out and what to keep.  The things that I value the very most, are things that belonged to my mother, my aunts, my grandmothers--nothing that is worth much, but they bring back memories for me.  All those people, and most of my friends--everybody I grew up with--are gone now.  And my children don't remember those things--they don't have those memories.  It makes me sad.  So I end up not doing anything."

"And as long as I'm talking about memories, they are one of the most precious things I have--now that I am this age.  Sometimes my children tell me that I live in the past--like that is a bad thing to do.  But "the past" is what I have left now.  And memories of my parents, my husband, or things that I have experienced, places that I have gone give me a lot of joy."

"Let's face it, as older women, as widows, the future doesn't hold a lot.  You aren't going to get a job, or go to school, or have children.  You aren't going to do much of anything that takes physical strength--or that takes very much time to do--you can't stay at 'doing' for long because you wear out."

"The worst thing that I am afraid I am not going to get done is paperwork.  I have fifty years of paper that I am afraid to throw away.  Nobody keeps paper anymore--everything is on their phones or computers--which I don't know how to do.  And I don't know which papers I have that are important.  What I should toss.  What I should keep.  So I just put it all in boxes.  Which is upsetting because that's what my parents did.  And I still have unopened boxes of their paperwork that I need to go through.  I ought to invite everyone over, build a fire with all that paper.  We could roast wieners."

I couldn't help thinking that I had a ton of paper that I could add to the bonfire.  It would be a relief.

Actually, asking this "question" I asked last Sunday took more time than I thought it would.  Everyone wanted to talk about this subject--the frustrations of getting old.  So we did.  One after another they chimed in.

"I'm frustrated that I can't do the things that I used to enjoy doing so much," the third woman said.  Part of it is because I get tired quicker.  Part of it is that I can't physically do what I used to do.  And part of it is because my kids don't want me to.  They are afraid I'll get hurt.  Or get lost.  Or break down on the road.  Or someone will rob me."

"They say things like, 'Wait until one of us can go with you.'  But they are busy.  And finding a time to do something when they can do it never seems to happen."

I had to agree with her.  I have been trying to find a time to go see Ken's sister when one of my kids could go with me--because they don't want me to go alone.  But they are all so busy.  It's only four hours away.  I could drive it.  It wouldn't be a problem for me, but they worry.  And if something should go wrong on the road, I'd never hear the end of it, so I keep hesitating.  And even if they would take me, I would feel like I am imposing on their time.  I liked it much better when I just did what I wanted to do.  I didn't have to "report in."  I understand why they worry, but it is such an inconvenience not having complete freedom anymore.

The lady continued, "I used to travel.  And I really miss it.  But the people that I used to go with are in worse shape than I am and they can't go anymore.  At this age, it's hard to make new friends that like to do the same things that you do.  And are capable of doing them."  The lady sitting next to her said, "I'm going to Rome in three weeks with my son.  I hope I don't give him any problems."

I couldn't help but tell her that she was blessed that her son wanted her to go with him.  My daughter Becky keeps trying to get me to go on a cruise.  But I hesitate.  That's part of the problem.  You don't know if you will be able to do it.  You doubt yourself.

I decided to do something different in my Bible Class Sunday.  I asked a simple question--and interestingly enough, got the most enthusiastic discussion that I have had in two years.  Perhaps their answers to the question will help you understand what older people in your family are experiencing.  Maybe inspire you to change how you interact with them?  I asked, "What has been the most difficult part of growing old for you to deal with?"  I don't know what I was expecting, but the answers were enlightening.  And none of them said it was "dying."

The first answer was, "It's not the things that I have forgotten that bothers me, but the assumption that--because I am  older--I don't remember anything at all.  Like my age is some sort of mental disease. They say things like, 'You don't know what you are talking about.'  Or, 'That's not what happened.'  Or, 'You've got that wrong.'"  They correct me over trivia.  They seem to enjoy correcting me over small details.  They talk to me like I am one of their children."

"The hard part is that when they get something wrong, they don't listen what I have to say.  As a result, I end up not being a part of the conversation.  Assumption: the older person has lost their memory.  There is nothing drastically wrong with my memory.  I remember most things.  Sometimes it takes me longer to get to it--thus, since I am slow--I must be mentally deficient.  It isolates you."

Everyone in class said that this was one of the most frustrating things that they experience. They agreed that their memory is not as good it used to be, but all of them felt excluded from conversation.  And that the wisdom they have accumulated through the years has been discounted.  Later, I called my friend Carolyn to get her opinion and told her what the women had said.  I asked her what she thought.  She said, "So true!!  They are rude.  And they correct you in a patronizing manner.  That didn't happen when you missed a detail back when you were younger."

Perhaps the most familiar scripture to us is, Deut. 5:16, "Honor your father and mother, (and your elders)...that your days may be prolonged...that it may go well with you..."  Be patient with older people.  You are setting an example for how your own children may treat you.

I think I am on an anti-rebellion kick.  I'm sick of senseless rebellion.  It has become entertainment for some groups of people.  People travel from state to state to get in on the action.  One day, two, and then on to the next event.  I can't help but wonder if these people have jobs, or just have too much empty time on their hands. Whatever their goals, their method isn't working.

I am definitely not against demonstrations if they are orderly and have a lasting purpose.  I would love to see a demonstration against child abuse.  Or drunk driving.  Or a dozen other things.

But people can't seem to get into those kinds of things.  They want to demonstrate because "Somebody done somebody wrong."  And after the demonstration, nothing changes.  Except that a number of people who have nothing to do with what is going on lose property--as demonstrators wreck buildings, cars, streetlights, loot and destroy stuff.

Mohandas Gandhi is remembered as one of the greatest protesters of all time.  (Martin Luther King used his principles for the protest march on D.C.)   In 1930, Gandhi led the Salt March in a peaceful protest  of Britain's oppression of India.  60,000 people were arrested.  Where are you going to jail that many people?  Impossible.  Gandhi won.  India gained her independence.   When he died in 1948, the entire world mourned.  I was ten years old at the time.  I remember.

You can't rule a people when most of them disagree with the rules.  Unless you kill all the protesters. Which is happening in the middle East today.  Thank God we live in America.  But we have become too tolerant of silliness, stupidity, vulgarity and violence in the name of free speech.

Where are the great leaders like MLK and Gandhi when we need them?  Where are the statesmen of yesteryear?  I think we are ready to follow someone who has a great vision.  I just hope it is not the anti-Christ.  I wonder if we would even recognize the anti-Christ.  God says most of the world won't.

Getting behind a real cause takes a lot of time.  For some causes, it takes a lifetime.  Find one.

Power is always granted from the bottom up.  You can make a law.  You can make a rule.  But to get someone to follow the rule or the law, they have to decide to do it.  They have to grant you the authority over them.  The authority to make the law.

So we understand that rebellion is refusal to grant authority to the governing powers.  And crime is actually following through with that rebellion and doing the opposite of the law.

There are two possibilities for committing a crime.  You get caught.  Or you don't.  If you get caught, there is punishment.  Consequences.  If you don't get caught, it gives you an inner confidence to commit the crime again.  And again.  But eventually, you will probably be caught.  And pay a price.

However, there are times to rebel.  Some laws are made without serious thought as to what the effect on people will be.  We are blessed here in America that we can rebel through protest.  The greater the number of protesters, the greater the probability that the law will be reversed.

But breaking the law is much more serious.  When groups break a law, it creates chaos.   Rioting serves no purpose.  Property loss is inflicted on people who did nothing wrong.

It seems to me that we have reached the "riot" stage in the world.  In Romans 13:1-2, God said, "All of you must obey those who rule over you.  There are no authorities except the ones God has chosen.  So whoever opposes the authorities opposes leaders whom God has appointed..."

I think he was talking about Israeli leaders--some of which were evil.  The part that is hard for us is to rebel in an effective way when our leaders lead us down a primrose path.  We need to rebel in unison, in a manner that leads to peace.  Not by screaming, busting windows and setting things on fire.

We should love peace.  And work toward changes that benefit us.  It takes time.  Rebellion?  Yes.  Crime?  No.

Ken never said "No" to me.  Whatever I wanted, however I wanted to do something, that's what happened.  He truly wanted me to be free to do whatever needed to be done however I wanted to do it.  Like I told you yesterday, he wanted a wife who could manage whatever came along--since he was gone so much.  He wasn't looking for a wimp.  And he didn't marry one.

So when he finally said "No" to me, it was a shock.  We had been married ten years and he had never questioned how I did the things that I did, or the decisions I made for the family.  He felt that whoever was doing the job got to decide how it was done.  But he was getting ready to deploy to Viet Nam.  He knew what war was.  He had flown over a hundred missions in Korea, and been hit 7 times in the first 25 missions--before they transitioned to jets.  He didn't have any illusions.

"I'm going to go to Olatha, Kansas when you deploy," I told him.  "They have a base there with a lot of empty housing.  Most of the wives I know are going there while their husbands are gone.  I'll have support.  Everyone will be going through the same thing I am.  The schools are good, and the kids will already have friends they know in the same boat they are in."  It wasn't a question, I was just telling Ken what I planned to do when he left.

"No," he said.  "That's not going to happen."  I did a double take.  I wasn't sure I heard him right.  "No, you aren't going to Olatha.  You and the kids are going back to Pryor where your folks are."

 "But," I said, "I want to..."

"No. You aren't going to Olatha.  I'm going to have enough to worry about while I'm gone.  I want my family safe.  In Pryor.  Where your family is.  If something should happen to me, I want to know that you and my children are settled. We are going to buy a house there--where your mom and dad live."

I was so shocked that I said, "Okay."  I think that shocked him too.

From my blog yesterday, you can probably tell that I rather much have a mind of my own.  I'm pretty much going to do what I'm going to do.  In my defense, Ken knew that when he married me.  He was completely up front about it.  "I want a woman for my wife who can manage on her own.  Who can think things out and do what is best--because I will be gone most of the time."

He was right about that.  Some of the ground Marines got to take their families with them overseas and had 3 years tours.  But the aviators were always moving.  Almost every year--practicing air maneuvers, and carrier landings in all the great bodies of water worldwide.  If there was a carrier, or a base anywhere in the world, Marine aviators were going there.  Their families didn't.

He was overseas twice--both times for 13 month tours--during one six year period.  No phone calls.  No internet.  No visits.  Just letters.  And that didn't count all the deployments in between.  Two weeks.  Six weeks. Two months.  So I was in charge of everything in our lives most of the time.  Ken had been right.  He needed a woman who could manage on her own--me.  Did I like it?  I never thought about it.  (Some of the wives weren't bent that way and the divorce rate was high.)

So naming a baby what I wanted to name him was just one more thing in my mind.  In my defense, Ken thought it was really funny, and told the story to all his fighter-pilot friends every time there was a Marine party.  Which was embarrassing.  But he knew what he was getting when he married me.

Every time he came home, we would renegotiate the territory.  Once, when he got back from overseas, I handed him the checkbook and bank statements and said, "I'm pretty sick of this.  Why don't you do it for awhile."  But after two or three months, he said, "There's not enough money to cover everything."  I said, "I know.  It's called juggling."

"I don't juggle," he said.  "I fly airplanes.  So, I'll make the money.  And you spend it."  And that's how we did it.  It worked for us.  It probably wouldn't work for most families.  I don't think there are many men who could manage woman like me.  But he had what it took.  I adored him.

Ken and I had jokingly discussed what we would name a little boy if we ever had one.  We had already had three little girls--and neither of us cared what the next baby would be.  Our third daughter had unexpectedly died, and whatever God sent us would be a blessing.  We had plenty of little girl names picked out since it seemed like we produced girls.  But if it was a boy, I told Ken, "We should name him after your father and my father."  Which was a joke, because my dad's name was Elmer Melvin, and his Dad's name was Edgar Rufus.  Putting that together, we laughingly called him Elmer Rufus the entire time I was pregnant.

However, we couldn't agree on a real name.  I wanted him (if it was a boy) to be named Kenneth Scott.  After his own father.  Ken said, "No.  My brother named his boy Kenneth.  My sister named her boy Kenneth.  Counting me there are too many Kenneths in this family.  David Scott it a good name."  I just nodded.    We did agree on one thing--that we would call him Scott.  

When I gave birth, it was a boy.  So I filled out the papers, thinking that Ken would never see them anyway, and named him Kenneth Scott.  (Yes, I know.  Not a very submissive wife.)  But as God would have it, Ken came home early--which he never did--and brought in the mail the day the official birth certificate came--which he opened.  

"There must be some mistake," he told me.  "They got this boy's name wrong on his birth certificate.  And since I know my sweet little wife couldn't possibly have any thing to do with this, and nobody seems to agree on what his name is, I'm going to call him Sam.  Which he did.   From that day on.  Sam.  Everyone else called him Scott, Scoot, Scooter, Scottie.   Except for Ken.  Ken called him Sam.

Years later, when Scott (Kenneth Scott) had a son, someone asked what the baby's name was.  "He's named after me," Scott told them.  "His name is Sam."  

And Becky named her son David Scott.  Ken got what he wanted in the end.

The state is now allowing any two people to marry.  Which should be a civil ceremony if the state wants to get involved--not an ordinance of marriage--which is a religious institution created by God.  And God said that marriage should be between a man and a woman.  God and the state no longer agree on what marriage is.

God and the state no longer agree on much of anything anymore.  Everything I knew to be true in the 1940 and 50's seems to have been eradicated, reversed or turned upside down.  And the nation is the worse for it.  Everything has to be politically correct.  But only for certain groups.  Certain people.

Free speech has been turned into free ranting.  Free screaming at each other.  Free cursing, swearing, free blasphemy.  I never heard such stuff when I was growing up.  I was a grown woman before I heard anybody curse.  And I could walk the six blocks home from school everyday and not even consider being afraid.  None of the kids I knew was ever afraid.  There was no reason to be afraid.

We played outside until dark, and then came home for supper.  We lay on quilts out in our back yards and counted stars, caught lightening bugs and watched falling stars streak across the sky.  The sky was clear.  You could see forever.  Sometimes we fell asleep and woke up with the morning dew.  Not any more.  Children can't do those things any more.  It's too dangerous.

If someone harmed a child back then, justice was swift.  Ken used to say that for justice to exist, it had to be swift, and punishment had to be absolute.  Otherwise, no one would believe in justice anymore.   Only when justice is swift and absolute will the law have meaning.

That's where we are.  Nobody believes in justice any more.  So we must remember what God said.  "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour.  1 Peter 5:8   That is the world we now live in.

It makes me sad.  It makes me so very sad.

As long as I am on the subject of marriage, I might as well go out on a limb.  Not only are young people moving in together, but so are older people--for a different reason.   Older retired people will lose a large part of their income if they remarry.

Our Churches have abdicated the institution of marriage to the state.  It was God who invented the concept of marriage in the first place--not the government.  The only reason the government got into it was for the money.  Part of Social Security income for one person vanishes if you remarry.  The state reclaims it.  Even though both people who want to marry paid for it their entire lives.  Which can be financially catastrophic for some older couples.

For Christians who have lost their spouses it is especially troubling.  They are on reduced incomes as a result of losing their spouse, and those incomes are for the most part fixed.  Marriage will reduce their income even further. And many times people will lose their health care if they remarry.   I would.  All of it.  (No, I am not interested in getting married.)

I personally think that churches should be more helpful and create a new ceremony for Christians.  A way to marry--exclusively within the church.  I think there is an good argument for our Churches to reclaim the institution of marriage.  Perhaps marriage for older retired people could be blessed by God's people, without interference from the government.

I know, this is a wild idea.  But older people leave the church because of this issue.  They don't want to face condemnation from fellow Christians just because they decided to jump over a broom.

I have probably stirred up a hornet's nest with my idea.  Marriage by God as it was in the first place.  Under the authority of  His church.  For Christians.  Those who aren't Christians don't have a problem moving in together.  They don't consider themselves accountable to God anyway.

And then there are the young girls who are trying to please their mom--who wants the wedding so she can invite all her friends.  The vows are between two people, but weddings have become a huge group activity that sometimes involves the entire town.  And sometimes a young girl is overwhelmed with pressure, trying to please everyone but herself.

Not that there is anything wrong with saying vows in front of your family and friends.  It's just that trying to "do it right" has become the object of the ceremony--rather than the marriage itself.

If you want to remember what is important about that moment, you need just the two of you.  All the rest of the stuff going on should never be the point.  With that said, get married.  Two of you.  Go to the preacher or go to the judge.  Invite others if you want.  Have flowers, music, etc. if you want.  Or none of it if you don't want.  Then go live your lives.  It will not be a fairy tale.  It will be real life between two people.  The entire event will be important to two people in the end.  And forgotten by almost everyone else.   It is a moment of beginning for two people.

I only remember bits and pieces of my own wedding.  I planned it.  (My mother didn't make a single suggestion.)  The most important thing was that Ken was there.  I was there.  We promised to love each other until death.  And for 57 years, we did.  Until death did us part.  I would do it all over again.  In a heartbeat.  I should have said "Yes" the first time he asked me.  Or the fifth or sixth.

It used to involve jumping over a broom.   Or like in the movie, "Cold Mountain," saying, "I marry you" three times.  Or like in the 1700's and 1800's, in an emerging nation, announcing you were marrying each other, planting your crops to prepare for winter, and waiting on a circuit judge or a traveling preacher--who had no license--to make it official.  You didn't need the state to be involved at all.  Then came Social Security, licensing, state control and involvement in something that was invented by God.  Marriage.  God's plan in the first place.  Please God, and the rest will be right.

When, "...the two are united into one.  Since they are no longer two...they are one."  Mark 10:8

When I got married in 1956, weddings were happy occasions.  Today they are productions.  It's no wonder so many young people are bypassing the wedding altogether and moving in with each other.  Young women have been led to believe a lie.  That is, that the wedding must be done in a certain way or they will somehow fail to have been married properly.  No wonder many feel they are not up to the task and skip it all together.  Some couples who are living together are even saving up so that they can afford to get married in the current "correct" way--when they should be saving for their future.

Today, a wedding has to be bigger and better than the ones your friends had.  More people, more flowers, a bigger reception, a dress designed by the most famous designer, vows exchanged in an exotic place--or an event wedding.  Perfectly phrased invitations.  Perfectly phrased vows.  Not to mention the honeymoon--where you are going, what you will wear--and on, and on,  and on...like I said, it's a Production.  With a capital P.  Parents spend massive amounts to "do it right."  Couples feel like they have failed if they don't "do it right."

I remember back in the 1940's.  During the war--and especially after it was over.  People who fell in love went to the court house and got a license.  Then they went to the church and were married in the pastor's office, or at his house.  Sometimes they were married right at the courthouse by a judge.  If you wanted to live together, you got married.  God approved.  No big deal.  It involved two people.  That's what mattered.  They were starting a life together.  The divorce rate was minimal.  Today it is sky high.  The wedding doesn't seem to have anything to do with whether it works out or not.  And personally I think it sets up unrealistic expectations.  Life isn't like these extravagant weddings.

When commercialization took over, getting married required a bigger diamond.  A bigger arena. A bigger guest list.  Bigger everything.  Unrealistic amounts of money spent that could have bought a house--or at least made a sound down payment.  All for the sake of 30 minutes of grandeur.  Nowhere has the phrase, "Keeping up with the Joneses" been more descriptive than in the current wedding event.  And the rate at which young couples are deciding to move in together has skyrocketed.

I would like to have a normal day.  Everything has been nuts for the last couple of weeks.  On the other hand, I don't think I would know what a normal day would look like.  Maybe chaos is normal.  I seem to have always been able to get through whatever comes my way.

I think that the secret is to just take one step at a time.  When I start anticipating trouble, the only thing that is troubled is me.  I get myself in a stew.  And sometimes the thing I am dreading never happens anyway.

I think I told you something last week that seems relevant.  "Worry is believing that God can't do the right thing.  Bitterness is thinking He got it wrong."  Either seems to be a lack of trust.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."  Proverbs 3:5-6

When I try to lean on what I understand and know, it doesn't always cover what I need to understand and know.  

I enrolled in a Topical Memory system back in the 60"s with the "Navigators."  It was a new way to memorize for me.  And it was excellent.

What they do is give you a topic, such as the word "Trust," and then give you a few verses on that subject. Instead of just learning a verse, you repeat the topic word first.  That way, when you are in a conversation and the 'topic word' comes up, you automatically think of certain verses.  

It is interesting the way it works.  When I ended the third paragraph  (above) with the word "trust," the verse in Proverbs--along with a couple of others--popped into my head.  Knowing God's word in my mind instead of having to look it up is a big help when I need direction.

You might try it.  It does help.  God's word always helps.

Yesterday didn't go as planned.  Pat asked me to go with her to a follow up appointment, and she ended up in surgery.  They had done a biopsy on her left temple last week.  But were not satisfied with the results so they ended up doing another biopsy on the right temple yesterday afternoon.

We got back to the house and she conked out for four hours--exhausted.  Supposedly, they will call with the results today.  And of course, what they are looking for is a weird "something or other" that very few people get.  Problem is, if that turns out to be the case, she will have to be on steroids for two years.

So how do you pray about that.  The cure is worse than the problem.  This is one of those times that you just pray for God to intervene.  Pray for His will to be done.  One of those times you have no idea what to pray for.  So you just pray.

Every family--unless you are very unique--has problems.  I don't know how people who are not Christians deal with the problems that come into their path.  They just get scared.  They are alone.

It is such a comfort to know that God loves us, hears us, and does what is best for us in the long run.  He can see the entire picture, has a plan for our lives, and comforts us in times of trouble.

"God is our refuge and strength.  A very present help in times of trouble."  Psalm 46:1  I have always loved this verse.  I like the word "refuge."  A place to retreat from the world and get away from it all.

We all have times we need a refuge.

My friend Carolyn also has people living with her.  A granddaughter, her husband and their two children--Olivia and Patrick.

Patrick--who is two years old--is one of those kind of kids who crop up every now and then, who are smarter than the "average bear", (as Ken would say).  He is a handful, because he is always a step ahead of everyone, and has an inquisitive mind which is always turning and spinning.  Always curious as to "what would happen if..."  If.  And the "ifs" come as a regular occurrence.

I had one of those kind of kids, Scott, and he was always a step ahead of me.  "What would happen if I hit a swarm of bees with a broom?"  Or, "What would happen if I got on my skateboard at the top of the hill and rode it down into the cross street below?"  Or...or...or...it was something every day.  Keeping him alive was a continual challenge.  Broken bones were the norm.

Carolyn called yesterday and said, "Guess what Patrick did this morning."  All I could do was laugh and wait for the latest episode.  She told me that she was outside, in the back yard, and Patrick kept coming outside.  She kept scooting him back inside.  "Don't come out that door again," she told him.  So he didn't.  He locked the door from the inside and came out the doggie door.  Locking both of them outside.

And the doggie door--well there was no way Carolyn could get into the house through the doggie door.  "I had my cell phone with me," she said.  "Thank God I had my cell phone.  I was able to call somebody who had a key to come let us back in."

"Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord...and are his reward.  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children...and happy is the man that has his quiver full of them..." Psalms 127: 3-5.

I don't need any more arrows in my quiver.  Five was enough.  I am blessed.

Lindsey and Sam are still here at my house.  They are painting the inside of their house and repairing some of the walls.  Sam has to work everyday, so it has taken them longer than they had planned.

When they asked if they could stay with me, I said, "Sure.  Come on."  And then there was a hesitation, and Lindsey said, "We have a cat."  Of course I wondered how this would work with Squig, but it's been fine.  The cat and Squig looked each other over and made friends.  No barking, no hissing, no problems.  Clovis (the cat) claimed the dining room table and looks down on Squig most of the time.  Squig doesn't understand why Clovis doesn't want to play with him.

On Sunday when I finished the lesson, I asked if there were any prayer requests for the week, and one of the women said, "I know this is trivial, but would you all pray for my dog.  He isn't in any pain, but he is eighteen years old and has been sick all week.  I love him.  I don't want him to suffer."

If you don't have a dog, you would agree with her that it was a trivial request.  But if you love your dog like I love Squig, you wouldn't think it was strange at all.  I use the word ACTS to concentrate when I pray.  Adoration, Confession, Thanks, and Supplication.  And when I get to Thanks, I always thank God for Squig.  He is such a sweet and loving companion.  So I didn't think her prayer request was strange at all.  We pray for those we love.

Squig trusts me.  If you feed and water your dog, and hold them when they are scared, they will trust you completely.  Squig is terrified of rain and shakes all over when it starts.  So I hold him.  Or put a blanket in my closet where he can lie down and hide in the dark.

That's what God does for us when we are scared of things we don't understand.  He holds us until it is all over.  "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.  He makes me to lie down in green pastures: he leads me beside the still waters; he restores my soul...Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil..." Psalms 23

I grew up in a time when a traveling evangelist would come to town and everyone would turn out to hear him preach--every night for a week.  Sometimes two weeks.  And if the preacher was a youth evangelist, you could count on him preaching against 1. smoking, 2. drinking, and 3. dancing.  I didn't smoke.  I didn't drink.  But I did love to dance.

Everyone (I mean everyone) in school used to go to Teen Town on Friday nights to the dance--chaperoned by the parents and sanctioned by the City Council.  Kept us off the streets, and probably kept some kids from smoking and drinking.  (Which was forbidden at Teen Town.)  Kids didn't want to take a chance on not getting in.  They might fail the "sniff" test and the jig was up.

So it came as a shock to me when I read the scripture in Proverbs about the things that God hates. Those three things (smoking, drinking and dancing) didn't make the list.  They weren't even in the Ten Commandments!!!  I thought I was being pretty good at being pretty good.  But when I read Proverbs 6:16-19, I found out that I was busted.

"These six things the Lord does hate, yes, seven are an abomination unto him:  A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood.  A heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that are swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaks lies, and he (she) who sows discord among the brethren.

Nothing about smoking and drinking and dancing.  All seven things named in Proverbs are about how you treat other people.  Which Jesus covered when challenged by the Pharisees.  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul.  And love your neighbor as yourself."

My knowledge about what constituted sin was very shallow when I was young.  I thought it was a list I could follow.  Come to find out it was a lot more than that.

I always post early.  But I forgot--because Ann called me to go to a neighborhood garage sale.  Those kind of sales make me go brain dead.  So here it is after 3 in the afternoon and I just realized that I had forgotten.

You are all probably tired of my latest rant on predestined damnation anyway.

I'll end that by saying that I love to study the Bible.  I love to put it together in my mind--when I have a question--so that it all makes sense.  I guess being a mathematician with a logical bent of mind makes me want to bring it all together when I have questions.

But in the end, it is God's spirit that reveals truth as we read his Word.  Things I have read dozens of times can jump out at me with new insight and I know that it is not from my own analysis, but from God.  Something I have read will connect in my brain with something I have memorized in the past and it's like slipping a button through a button hole.  It fits.

There are many scriptures that, if you take them by themselves, you can invent a new religion.  If you take the verse, "Jesus wept," and believe that we must all be exactly like Jesus, then you could invent a doctrine that says that we must all be weepers.  Or a slogan, "Come to worship at our church on Sunday and practice weeping."  Or that, "If you don't weep, then you aren't saved."  But you and I know that we must take the entire Word of God, and that every verse in the Bible must be verified by other verses.  The Bible is its own best reference.

I have been discussing a subject for the past few days that has no exact scriptural reference.  I have said that "Predestined damnation" is the flip side of the coin for those who subscribe to the doctrine of "Predestined salvation."  That you absolutely can't have one without the other.  But we must, "Study to show yourself approved unto God..."  2 Timothy 2:15.  Everyone should study scripture.  However, be careful not to try and make it say something that it doesn't say.

This theory of giving salvation to a chosen few is based on a verse--which taken by itself--has produced an entire religious following.  I can't buy into it--because I believe that God is good, not evil.  I can't believe that he would allow someone to be born that He has predestined to be damned to eternal hell.  I believe (based on scripture) that His hope is that every person who is born will choose Him.  And because of this, He expects you and me to spread the "Good news" to a lost world.

Romans 8:9 is the main scripture that this entire religious movement is built on.  "For those that God foreknew, he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son."  Can God "foreknow?" Of course.  Does the scripture say that He foreknows everyone who will accept him?  No.  Only those he chooses to foreknow.  Some people, like John the Baptist, were predestined, in the womb, to do a certain work and had a predestined purpose.  I also agree that all who accept Christ will be conformed to His image.  There are hundreds of opinions written on this word "foreknew" dating back to the 1400's.  All--opinions--taken for absolute truth.   I've read a bunch of them.  But I believe that at the moment you choose Him, of your own free will, you become a Child of God and start the conformation into His image.  God's original predestined plan of salvation--for everyone.

So, personally, I believe that we are all predestined for salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ.  God chooses all of us.  Everybody.  He is not willing that any should perish.  He died for everyone.  He paid the price on the cross for every human being.  Jesus bore every sin of every person that ever lived, or ever will live--those who accept God's gift of salvation (through their own free will) and those who reject Christ (by their own free will).  However, even though all sin, every sin, has been paid for, only those who repent and accept God's gift of his Son as a sacrifice for their sin will receive salvation.  God chooses you, but you in return must choose Him to seal the deal.  There is a price for salvation.  Repentance.

2 Peter 3:9 says,  "The Lord is not slack (late) concerning his promise (to return), but is long-suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."   That scripture says that God is still hopeful that all lost people will choose Him.  Which makes no sense if you believe that God has already done the choosing of who is going to make it and who is not!  Why would God be "hopeful" for something that isn't going to happen.  For something that he has already determined won't happen.  Hope means there is a chance.  God's hope is that you will accept his sacrificial lamb--Jesus.

That scripture makes no sense if God already knows who is going to trust Him and be saved.  And of course there is John 3:16 "For God so loved the world (everybody) that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes on Him shall not perish.  Whosoever, not a chosen few.

Don't get me wrong.  If God wants to know who is going to reject Him (before they are born), God certainly has to power to know that.  He is God.  He can do whatever He wants to do.  I just don't believe in predestined damnation.  Which is what you have--unless God makes a choice not to know.

I guess what I am trying to explain is that if something is already determined, God would not be hopeful that others would come to salvation.

And God is hopeful.  He says so in his Word.  He hopes all men will repent and turn to Him for their salvation.  He is the author of it.  It's free.

Yesterday my last paragraph that I wrote was:  "In my own mind, I have already decided that God can create man, give him free will to choose good or evil, give him the acumen to recognize that He, God, exists, and then--as God--choose not to know what the individual man will do concerning his decision to choose Christ as the sacrificial lamb of God--the path to fellowship with God himself.  Otherwise, God would be knowingly creating children, (since God is the author of all life), who are born doomed, and foreordained to eternal death.   If God is always good, that seems logically impossible."

To me, it is a conclusive argument against the concept that we are "Preordained to Salvation" which is a current philosophy going around in today's religious circles.  I don't think that you can have it both ways.  That is, that we can be preordained to salvation (through no choice of our own), without having a group of people who are preordained to damnation.  Which would mean that God is not good at all.  Which would mean that God is knowingly creating a group of people to torture in hell forever and ever.  Which is the flip side of the coin of "Preordination for salvation."

If God is the creator of all life; if God is always good (which we discussed yesterday); if God is all powerful; if God can do whatever He chooses to do; if God has given us free will, then how can God "pre-ordain" what we are going to choose to do.  That is--preordain the choice that we will make--to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, or to believe that He isn't.  That is the opposite of free will.  Of choice.  Man is thus nothing but God's puppet.

If I believed that only those who are "Preordained for salvation," will be saved,  why would I bother to follow the commands of Jesus to spread the Gospel.  It wouldn't make any difference one way or another.

And why would Jesus send his disciples out "two by two" to spread the word if it wasn't necessary?  Why would I follow the command to, "Go ye therefore and teach all nations.  Baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost."  Matthew 28:19.  Why bother with all of that if the outcome has already been decided?

The question that I asked in the Bible Study yesterday was, "Can God choose to not know something?"  Of course, there was much discussion about a Creator who can do anything He chooses.  But the discussion around  God choosing to "not do something" was divided.

There is not a definitive answer that I have found supported by scripture.  But since my "go to" system is always logic analysis, I start with things like, "When you add two to three, do you get five?"     And follow that up in a "Bible arena", and ask a question that can be supported by scripture, "Is God always good?"  And naturally I give a number of scriptures to tell what the Bible has to say.  Such as 1 John 1:5 where the disciple John (the beloved of Jesus) says: "This then is the message which we have heard of him (Jesus) and declare unto you, that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all."

And then follow up--when they answer that God is always good with, "Is He all-powerful?  Can He do anything and everything?"  Which generally leads to answers such as, "Well, since we have free will, He can't force us to believe in Jesus.  We have to make a choice.  It's up to us."  Which I agree with.  And answers like, "Since he is always good, he can't contradict His character."  So, yes, there are some types of things that God has foreordained for Himself that He can't, by His nature, do.

As for "all powerful," I get answers like, "He can't contradict his promises."  Or quotes from the Lord's prayer, "Thine is the kingdom, and the glory, and the power..."  After ten or fifteen minutes of discussion about the character of God, I ask the question I mentioned, "Can God choose not to know something--or does He know everything?"  And by the time I ask that question, they are able to realize that some questions concerning God are exceedingly difficult.

In my own mind, I have already decided that God can create man, give him free will to choose good or evil, give him the acumen to recognize that He, God, exists and then--as God--choose not to know what the individual man will do concerning his decision to choose Christ as the sacrificial lamb of God--the path to fellowship with Him.  Otherwise, God would knowingly create children, (since God is the author of all life), who are born doomed, foreordained, to eternal death.   If God is always good, that seems logically impossible.