I decided to do something different in my Bible Class Sunday.  I asked a simple question--and interestingly enough, got the most enthusiastic discussion that I have had in two years.  Perhaps their answers to the question will help you understand what older people in your family are experiencing.  Maybe inspire you to change how you interact with them?  I asked, "What has been the most difficult part of growing old for you to deal with?"  I don't know what I was expecting, but the answers were enlightening.  And none of them said it was "dying."

The first answer was, "It's not the things that I have forgotten that bothers me, but the assumption that--because I am  older--I don't remember anything at all.  Like my age is some sort of mental disease. They say things like, 'You don't know what you are talking about.'  Or, 'That's not what happened.'  Or, 'You've got that wrong.'"  They correct me over trivia.  They seem to enjoy correcting me over small details.  They talk to me like I am one of their children."

"The hard part is that when they get something wrong, they don't listen what I have to say.  As a result, I end up not being a part of the conversation.  Assumption: the older person has lost their memory.  There is nothing drastically wrong with my memory.  I remember most things.  Sometimes it takes me longer to get to it--thus, since I am slow--I must be mentally deficient.  It isolates you."

Everyone in class said that this was one of the most frustrating things that they experience. They agreed that their memory is not as good it used to be, but all of them felt excluded from conversation.  And that the wisdom they have accumulated through the years has been discounted.  Later, I called my friend Carolyn to get her opinion and told her what the women had said.  I asked her what she thought.  She said, "So true!!  They are rude.  And they correct you in a patronizing manner.  That didn't happen when you missed a detail back when you were younger."

Perhaps the most familiar scripture to us is, Deut. 5:16, "Honor your father and mother, (and your elders)...that your days may be prolonged...that it may go well with you..."  Be patient with older people.  You are setting an example for how your own children may treat you.