When I got married in 1956, weddings were happy occasions.  Today they are productions.  It's no wonder so many young people are bypassing the wedding altogether and moving in with each other.  Young women have been led to believe a lie.  That is, that the wedding must be done in a certain way or they will somehow fail to have been married properly.  No wonder many feel they are not up to the task and skip it all together.  Some couples who are living together are even saving up so that they can afford to get married in the current "correct" way--when they should be saving for their future.

Today, a wedding has to be bigger and better than the ones your friends had.  More people, more flowers, a bigger reception, a dress designed by the most famous designer, vows exchanged in an exotic place--or an event wedding.  Perfectly phrased invitations.  Perfectly phrased vows.  Not to mention the honeymoon--where you are going, what you will wear--and on, and on,  and on...like I said, it's a Production.  With a capital P.  Parents spend massive amounts to "do it right."  Couples feel like they have failed if they don't "do it right."

I remember back in the 1940's.  During the war--and especially after it was over.  People who fell in love went to the court house and got a license.  Then they went to the church and were married in the pastor's office, or at his house.  Sometimes they were married right at the courthouse by a judge.  If you wanted to live together, you got married.  God approved.  No big deal.  It involved two people.  That's what mattered.  They were starting a life together.  The divorce rate was minimal.  Today it is sky high.  The wedding doesn't seem to have anything to do with whether it works out or not.  And personally I think it sets up unrealistic expectations.  Life isn't like these extravagant weddings.

When commercialization took over, getting married required a bigger diamond.  A bigger arena. A bigger guest list.  Bigger everything.  Unrealistic amounts of money spent that could have bought a house--or at least made a sound down payment.  All for the sake of 30 minutes of grandeur.  Nowhere has the phrase, "Keeping up with the Joneses" been more descriptive than in the current wedding event.  And the rate at which young couples are deciding to move in together has skyrocketed.