During the time that Ken was in Viet Nam, I started college.  The girls were in school, and Scott was in Pre-school.  In 1967, I was no longer the girl I was in 1956.  As they say, I had seen the elephant.  I had spent 11 years holding us together--I got to be a stay-at-home mom if you could call it that.  I was more like the director of a traveling circus.  Trying to keep on juggling and keeping all the balls in the air.  We never were in one place long enough to think about college.  Or a job I would just have to quit after a few months.  I couldn't make enough to cover child care for three kids anyway.

When we got married, Ken had asked me if I wanted to go to college, or start a family.  He was concerned that by the time I finished college, he would be an "older" father.  And I didn't have any desire at all to go to school.  I was sick of school.  We started the family.  It was an easy decision.

But eleven years later, I had a different perspective on that.  I could see that if we were to send our kids to college, I was going to have to work.  I figured that if Ken made it home, I could be half way through if I applied myself.  And if he didn't make it home, I was going to have to find a job.

At the age of 18 when I married Ken, I had never even thought of the future.  It never occurred to me.  I had no plans for myself at all.  I just married him and lived one day at a time.  Everything was so chaotic that I could hardly function in the day to day.  Eleven years later, I functioned very well.  I was an expert at functioning.  I was no longer under any illusions about the future.  One way or another, I had to get an education, or end up in a low wage bracket trying to make ends meet.  College looked like the thing to do.  As it turned out, I loved being in school.  I loved the classes.  I always took six classes each semester to maximize the time, so I could finish in three years.

My girls say I never write about myself, that I always write about their dad, or someone else.  Well, I've been writing about myself for a week now.  I find it boring.  I find Ken's life interesting.

I guess we all think other people have exotic lives compared to our own.  I covet each day now.  I can read books, work cross-word puzzles and do anything I want.  I lead a calm life now.  I love it and I thank God for it.  I've seen the other side and made it through.