I have a friend who is going through a difficult time.  Her husband is very ill, and she is trying very hard to keep him going.  I know what that is like.  You want them to get better, but know that isn't going to happen.  Things are going downhill and there is no way to turn it around.

Problem is, you don't have any training for a time like that.  There isn't a guide for dummies book.  It is a "day at a time" kind of deal with no end in sight, and no idea what is coming next.

When Ken was near the end, I kept trying to fix him.  I didn't know how to let him go.  I was trying to be a good caretaker.  A good wife.  I remember one day I had fixed his favorite food and was trying to feed him and he wouldn't swallow.  It took me a long time to realize that he couldn't swallow.  He was done with swallowing.  And therefore, I was done with fixing his favorite foods.  That was over.

I had no practice in caring for someone who was dying.  With good intentions, I kept doing useless things.  I kept trying.  I was doing my best, but much of what I was doing was pointless.

My friend Sally told me about her grandson who has the gift of quietness.  He can sit for long periods of time and just "be" there.  Sometimes, that's all we need.  Silence.  I wish I had a little bit of that gift.  But I am a fixer.  I want to fix the problem--and some problems just can't be fixed.

Ken used to say, "This generation is afraid of silence."

There is a time for us to just be there.  And do nothing.  Our presence is enough.

"Be still, and know that I am God...I will be exalted in the earth."  Psalms 46:10.  The silence you sometimes hear is God speaking to you.