Everybody has days that are sad.  Days that are confusing.  Difficult.  Problematic.  You can't escape difficult times.  You just have to live through them.  Put one foot in front of the other and head in the right direction.  Plod until you can walk.  Walk until you can run again.

It's heading in the wrong direction that makes things worse.  Suffering and sadness are a part of life.  But knowing that God is with you makes it bearable.  He suffered, too.

I have been suffering sadness today.  Super sadness.  It's tough.  I think it is harder than physical pain.  No, I know it is harder than physical pain.  There is no pill you can take to cure sadness.

I took Squig in to have a tooth extracted that he had broken, and the Doctor called and said, "I have bad news.  When I went into the bone to remove the roots of the tooth, the bone was like a sponge, full of holes, he probably has cancer.  It's 50/50 in my opinion. Do you want to do a biopsy?

That was not what I expected.  I thought they were calling to and tell me to come get him.  I didn't sleep last night.  And of course I am praying to God every five minutes to let it be the good part of the 50/50, not the bad.  I said, Yes! Do the biopsy.  I want to know the thing I don't want to know.

Your mother loves you and expects you to be the best you can be.  Your dog thinks you already are.  No matter when, or how long I am gone, Squig is ecstatic to see me when I return.  I pick him up, cradle him in my arms and he lays his head in the crook of my neck and trembles all over.  He loves me.  He trusts me.  He is my friend.  He thinks I am wonderful.

My prayer is, "Lord help me to be the person that my dog thinks I am."

I never had a dog before that was mine.  Squig is mine.  I am his as well.

If the news is bad, I won't do chemo.  I've had chemo, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially a dog.  Especially Squig.  I don't want him to suffer.  But sometimes suffering is the path before us.  Sometimes we just can't escape it.  "Tis better to have loved and lost, than not to have loved at all."