I went to UPS and picked up the bound, revised paper copy of "The Letter."  I don't believe it.  I had asked for something I could touch and mark to finish my end of final editing with a pencil in my hand.  The publishing company paid for it, and shipped it, so maybe they are as invested in it as I am.

It was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders.  This is the rendition that the editor and I have been working on for months and months.  We did it by phone, reading every word together, arguing over changing wording and passages.  Hours and hours and hours on the phone.  Reading, listening, arguing. Sometimes I won the point, sometimes her suggestions were helpful.

I've had a headache the entire time.  Total tension.  And my ear hurts from holding the phone to my ear.  I should have used the speaker phone button but I would forget.

Like I said once, getting a book to be picked up by a publisher is almost impossible.  But the rest of getting it to market is agonizing.  I've learned a lot.  That's why people self publish--it's easier.  But with a publisher you get into every library, and bookstore, and mega-advertising.  So I will do it again.  But next time I'll have a zillion boundaries, due dates, etc. in the contract when I sign it.  I've learned what I can't deal with.

Jeanette and Carolyn have been invaluable listening to what I write.  Carolyn just finished the second book I've written: "The Jersey Cow" and has declared it a nine and a half or a ten!  She was supposed to read fifty pages and edit, but she said "sorry," she couldn't stop, she had to find out what happened next.  She made changes that were very helpful.  Jeanette is also in the process of going through it, but she wants me to read it to her rather than read it herself.  She had the same reaction.  She helped me make changes as well.  Pointed out things that weren't clear.  Didn't want to stop.  So maybe it's okay.  Hope so.