Squig is my best friend right now.  He doesn't know where we are, but he knows that if I am there, then everything will be okay.  He sticks to me like glue.  And when I have to leave him here alone, he whimpers like a baby when I return.  Almost as if to say, "I thought you had left me for good."

Paul was talking about Jesus when he said:  Hebrews 13: "...be content with such things as you have: for He has said, I will never leave you, nor forsake you."  Jesus had left his bodily form and returned to heaven, and his followers were feeling all alone.  Paul reminded them that Jesus would always be with them in the Holy Spirit.  He will not forsake us.  We have to learn to be content with what we have been given.

I want things to be like I want them.  I would much prefer to have Jesus in the flesh than in the Spirit. But I want him with me one way or another, and the Spirit is what He has given me.  I just like to be able to see things.  And to touch them.  I am probably like Thomas.

John 20:29 "Jesus said to Thomas, because you have seen me, you have believed:  blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed."

Peter said: 1 Peter 1:8 "Whom having not seen, you love; in whom, though you see him not, yet believing, you rejoice with unspeakable joy..."

We who have not touched or seen Christ receive a special blessing.  We have only heard of him--and yet, we believe.  Our faith is strong.  The Bible is our source of comfort and assurance.

I was really happy this morning when I woke up because it was Sunday and I was ready to make a decision about this church.  I had decided that if I was still as enthusiastic about the small group classes as I had been the previous three weeks, that I would go ahead and join.   (I had visited three different small groups.)  So, I did.  That decision is made.  I like the pastor.  The people are very friendly.  And they dress "Down" rather than "Up" so that you don't feel uncomfortable.

There is a question that Christians might ask you from time to time.  It is, "Are you saved?"  A strange question to someone who has no scriptural background.  You might ask, "Saved from what?"  Or, "I didn't know I needed saving."  I wonder if there isn't a better way to ask that question.  I have been asking those that I meet (after an appropriate length of time) "Are you a Christian person?"

Salvation is a funny thing.  You have to know you are "lost" before God can rescue (save) you.  And humans are notorious for ignoring God--and his demands on our lives.  Humans don't want to give anyone charge over their lives.  They want to do what they want to do.

But if you come to the end of your ability to control your life, to control your impulses, to control your mouth, or your attitude, you might just be ready to ask God, "Okay, what do you want from me."  At least that is a good place to start.  You are going to have to speak to Him one way or another.  Now, or after this life is over.

Romans 10:9-10 "...if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and shall believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you shall be saved. (There is that word, "saved") For with the heart man believes unto righteousness: and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.  The word is a Biblical one.   Human beings are lost.  Only God can save them from themselves.

An interesting point in that scripture:  The resurrection is a critical point of faith.

I usually write in the evening and post the next morning.  But today, I was back in the yard doing planting and digging and weeding at 6:3AM--and even though I had written, I forgot to publish it.  Sorry.  I found my draft when I started to write the next day's post.

I haven't found my system for doing things yet.  I spend a lot of time looking for things I have already put away.  It is starting to get easier, and make some sense.  But there are things I haven't found yet.

The senior adult pastor called and asked if I would like to teach.  Word gets out in a hurry.  I'm going to wait until I have visited all the classes and met some people before I jump in.

2 Timothy 2:15  "Study to show yourself approved unto God a workman that doesn't need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."

Approved unto God.  Maybe there is hope for me yet.  If I study, maybe He will approve of me.  I would like that.

I continue to be amazed at the lack of knowledge among church-going folk.  You would think that they would be the ones who were deeply informed.  But they seem to be divided into two different groups.  Those that dig, and those that diddle.   I guess that is why they need a teacher.

Actually, that's the way the world is.  Diggers and diddlers.

I got six pots of lilies in the ground and six shrubs as well.  Tomorrow I will try and do the same.  It has been cool and rainy here in Oklahoma for the last two months--which is unusual.  I don't remember ever having a rainy season like this one before.  But today, as I was trying to do some gardening, it was a scorcher outside.  I really don't like to sweat, and I had sweat running down my forehead into my eyes.

 It is the curse of Adam.  Genesis 3:19 "In the sweat of your face shall you eat bread until you return unto the ground..."  It seems to be a necessity if you do real work.

I can't help but recall that Jesus sweat drops of blood as he was dying for us.  Luke 22:44  "And being in an agony, he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground."

I really don't like hard work.  It's not that I am lazy, I would just rather be inside where it is air conditioned.  So my "work method" is to work real hard for ten or fifteen minutes and then come in and cool off.  Then go back at it.  I did this all day long.

Hezekiah (the prophet) received recognition for his work in the record of Chronicles.  2 Chronicals 31:21 "And in every work that he began in the service of the house of God, and in the law, and in the commandments, to seek his God, he did it with all his heart, and prospered."

Ecclesiastes 9: 10  "Whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might...."

It really doesn't have to be hard work.  We just need to make it a practice to do what we do well.

Every now and then--when I get lazy--I use my memory rather than checking something out.  Well, I made a big mistake yesterday in attributing a quote to C.S. Lewis rather than Dietrich Bonhoeffer.  Who said:  "When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die."  I knew better.  It was from one of Ken's favorite books and he quoted Bonhoeffer regularly.

I bought 68 pots of lilies today.  There is no way I can possibly plant them all, but the manager at the nursery made me such a deal I couldn't pass them up.  They had been 6 and 7 dollars apiece, and he let me have them for fifty cents apiece.  So I gave half of them to Ann and Becky. They are dropping petals, but if I can get them in the ground tomorrow, they will be spectacular next year.  I can never pass up a great bargain.  My rule is that when you find something that spectacular, you don't ask yourself how many you want to buy.  You just buy them all.  And you give them away.  So I did.

The same thing happened to me last year, and I gave half of those to friends (Joann and Kathy) in Pryor.  I was wondering how I was going to ever get "starts" of the lilies I had planted in Pryor, but now  I don't have to worry with that.  God is good.  I love lilies.

Now I have to get them in the ground.

Jesus said:  Matthew 6:27-29  "Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit to his stature?  And why do you take thought for your clothes?  Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they don't toil, neither do they spin.  And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."

If Jesus used lilies as an object lesson, they must be one of His favorite flowers.

I like them, too.

We have built our entire system of keeping track of the years around the birth of Christ.  Everything dates either before, (BC) or after, (AD) his birth.  It was such an important historical event that the whole world uses the system.  But it was only after his resurrection that the importance of his life was recognized.  He conquered death.  I can't think of any historical event more important than that.

The entire world knows his name.  Some people can't even tell you who the last three president were. But they know something about Jesus.  But knowing about him is simply informational.  Knowing him is personal.  There is a big difference.  You can know all the facts concerning Jesus' life and not know him at all.  Kind of like I know many of the facts about George Washington's life, but I don't know him at all.

There comes a point after you have the facts (concerning Jesus) that you must make a decision.  Will you give him your life.  Will you allow him to control your behavior.  Will you love him.  Will you give up your identity and accept his.  What are you going to do with the information you have?

In Galations 2:20, Paul said:  "I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."  Once you give up and give him your life, Christ comes to live within you.  That's personal.  C.S. Lewis said, "God bids a man to come and die."

Paul also said: 1 Corinthians 3:16 "Don't you know that you are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?"  And in 6:19-20a "What? Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which you have of God, and you are not your own?  For you are bought with a price..."  We have been purchased.  The price was blood.  The blood of Christ.

Let Him come in.  It is pretty wonderful.  It will change your life.  It will change your life forever.

An interesting dynamic in my family has changed since Ken died.  My sister, who is 21 years younger than I am. (Yes, my mom and dad were well past childbearing years but--like Abraham and Sarah who had a son in their later years--along came Lisa.)

I had always thought of Lisa as kind of like one of my children.  She is the exact same age as my second daughter.  They are 7 days apart.  So, Pat, Lisa, and Becky grew up together more like sisters.

But when Ken was gone, Lisa started calling me every day to check on me.  And little by little, instead of being one of my children, we became really good friends.  It's easier to ignore the age difference after fifty.  She has really made an effort to make sure everything is alright with me every day.  It's nice.  I need all the friends that I can get.

I went back to the same church this morning, but to a different class.  I am going to try all the classes before I make a decision of whether or not this will be my church.  I met the pastor and he had been the pastor of a church not twenty miles south of Pryor in Inola.  He knew everyone in Pryor well, because they were in the same regional association.  That is a good thing.  He knows the people that I know.

Proverbs 18:24 "A man that has friends must show himself friendly; and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. (Jesus)"

So.  I am trying to be friendly.  I am also trying to keep my mouth shut which is hard for me because I am a much better talker than a listener.  I am trying to be a good listener, but it isn't one of my strong points.  I did memorize everyone's names.  I'm trying.  I'm trying.

I was told that this blog got messed up, so I am reposting it.

You know those little screw on thing-a-ma-jigs that go on the top of the lamp to hold the shade on?  Well, I just threw them all in a single bag to put back on later, when I got moved.  Today is the day I am trying to straighten out all the lamps and the shades and the thing-a-ma-jugs.  I can't believe there are so many. And the harps, (the thing that goes around the bulb and rises up to hold up the shade) well, they come in a million sizes.

What goes with what!!!  What a mess.  I have 21 lamps.  Why in the world does one woman need 21 lamps?  I will never get it all straightened out.  All due to poor planing.  If I had had any sense at all, I would have put the correct harp and thing-a-ma-jig together with the lamp it was supposed to go with when I was packing the lamps in boxes.  I am muddling through-but I am irritated at myself.  I am usually more organized than this.

1 John 5: 4  "For whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world: and this is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith."

I am going to have a victory.  I am going to figure out which part of which lamp goes with which shade.  I have faith.  I will overcome this obstacle.

I couldn't have made this move without the assurance that it was God's will for me.  I'm too old for such foolishness.  That is, trying to pack and move by myself.  It has been horrible.  But at every point that I have faced a problem, I have been able to sit back and say to myself, "This, too, shall pass.  With God's help, I can do this."

Aren't you glad that God is on your side.

John has an interesting comment about the Trinity.  (I have told you before that the word "trinity" doesn't occur in the Bible.  It is a word we made up to describe something that is very hard to understand.  But John tries to explain it.

1 John 5:7  "For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Ghost: and these three are one."

 Paul explains the Father-Son relationship in the letter he wrote to the Philippians.  He says that God took on the form of a man.  So that we could see him.  So we could get to know him.  To understand what he was like.  To die for us.  To redeem us unto himself.
Philippians 2:5-7  "...Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with with God, but made himself of no reputation, and took upon himself the form of a servant,  and was made in the likeness of men..."

So God became a man.  But the hardest part for me is understanding what Jesus was like when He became a Spirit.  I know He returned to us as the Spirit of God--to live in our soul and heart.  But once again--He is invisible.  Of the three forms of God, I understand Jesus the best because he was human like me.  Physical.  Even though He was God as well.

Maybe you could think of this abstractly as you do H2O.  It always has the same composition, but it can appear as ice, liquid, or steam.  And the function changes as the form changes.  Or maybe you might think of it this way:  I am a mother, a wife, a friend, a professor, a Bible teacher, etc., each part of me with a unique role.  The people I interact with do so depending on how they see me.  I am the same person, I just behave differently in each of my roles.

Whatever.  God is God is Jesus is the Holy Spirit.  The Lord our God is one God.

I am going to like it here.  Tom and Pat came over Monday and hung pictures for me.  I went to lunch with Becky on Tuesday and then down to my favorite antique shop in the world--Edmond Antiques.  Then went to lunch with my cousin Ann, who also picked me up today to go to an estate sale.

That is more activity than I had in a month in Pryor.  But in all fairness, I am sedentary by nature.  My cousin Ann and I grew up together in Pryor, and lived a block apart.  She is more like a sister than a cousin because I didn't have a sister growing up.  She lives just down from me here in Edmond.

There is nothing like family.  You can call them at the last minute and if they want to go, fine.  If they don't, that's fine too.  And Ann and I have so much history together.  Our mothers were sisters and both mothers drove us crazy pushing us to perfection.  Where one of them left off the other one took over.  It was like having two mothers.

1 John 3: 1-2  Behold, what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us that we should be called the sons of God: (or daughters of the Wilson girls)...now we are the sons of God and it does not yet appear what we shall be; but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is."

You become like the thing that nurtures you.   Ann and I are a lot alike because we were molded by the our mothers.  We become like the son of God as He nurtures us.  God has a plan for your life and is actively working to turn you into a worthy heir to his kingdom.

Isn't that neat.  We are the children of God!!!

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You know those little screw on thing-a-ma-jigs that go on the top of the lamp to hold the shade on?  Well, I just threw them all in a single bag to put back on later, when I got moved.  Today is the day I am trying to straighten out all the lamps and the shades and the thing-a-ma-jugs.  I can't believe there are so many. And the harps, (the thing that goes around the bulb and rises up to hold up the shade) well, they come in a million sizes.

What goes with what!!!  What a mess.  I have 21 lamps.  Why in the world does one woman need 21 lamps?  I will never get it all straightened out.  All due to poor planing.  If I had had any sense at all, I would have put the correct harp and thing-a-ma-jig together with the lamp it was supposed to go with when I was packing the lamps in boxes.  I am muddling through-but I am irritated at myself.  I am usually more organized than this.

1 John 5: 4  "For whatsoever is born of God overcomes the world: and this is the victory that overcomes the world, even our faith."

I am going to have a victory.  I am going to figure out which part of which lamp goes with which shade.  I have faith.  I will overcome this obstacle.

I couldn't have made this move without the assurance that it was God's will for me.  I'm too old for such foolishness.  That is, trying to pack and move by myself.  It has been horrible.  But at every point that I have faced a problem, I have been able to sit back and say to myself, "This, too, shall pass.  With God's help, I can do this."

Aren't you glad that God is on your side.

In the book of 1 John, he uses the word "write" or "written", over and over starting in the first chapter, verse 4.  "And these things we write to you that your joy may be full."

Then in chapter 2:1, he says, "My little children, theses things I write to you that you sin not."

John is intent upon conveying that he is putting the truth into written form.  He uses the word "write" 13 times in this short letter.  (One of my friends says it is 14 times, but I can't find that many.)

He sums it all up in the last few verses of the letter--which are my favorite part--this way:  1 John 5: 11-12 "And this is the record, (written) that God has given to us eternal life, and this life is in his Son.  He that has the Son has life; and he that doesn't have the Son of God doesn't have life."  None of the people who knew Jesus was closer to Him than John and he wants you to know Jesus in the same way he does.  

Simple salvation is having Jesus in your life.

The next verse (13) is for you--if you have ever been plagued with doubt.  He is writing it to believers to reassure them.  "These things I have written to you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that you may know that you have eternal life and that you may believe on the name of the Son of God."   

You that believe.....that you may know.....that you may believe.....

The growth of faith occurs as we believe.  God reveals himself to us and our faith grows stronger.  There comes a point that you just know the truth is true.  You have to start somewhere.  The "record" is a good place to start.

I got dressed, and at 10:30 went looking for a church.  I found one that looked okay--whatever that is, and walked in.  However, the sermon was half over.  No problem.  I just sat down in an empty seat--which was, of course, halfway down the aisle with everyone wondering who that woman was coming into the middle of the service which had started at 9:15--how was I to know.  After the service was over, the lady next to me asked me to come with her to her small group.  I did.

Is this going to be my church?  I don't know.  I'll try it for a Sunday or two and see.  The odd thing is that the small group lesson was from the first chapter of 1 John.  Which I have been telling you about.  Serendipity.

1 John 1:6-10 is interesting.  John does a comparison of what we "say" versus what we "do".

Vs. 6 "If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth."
Vs. 7 "But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from all sin."
Vs. 8 "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."
Vs. 9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  (Life would be hopeless without this promise.)
Vs. 10 "If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us."

You can't just confess your sin to get back in fellowship with God, you must repent.  That simply means that whatever you have been doing wrong, you must quit.  Now.  For good.  You can't talk the "talk" and not walk the "walk."  John says that person is a liar and is in darkness.  Come on into the light.  Jesus is the light of the world!!!!  You might note that it is the blood that cleanses us.  That is not a popular subject these days.  But it is the truth.  That's how Baptists got their nickname "Bloody Baptists"--because they continue to preach concerning the blood of Christ.



  

1 John 1:5 "And this is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all."

1 John 4:12 "No one has beheld God at any time....


I once had a friend who said, "The reason we can't see God is because he is light.  He is all around us, revealing every thing we see.  He is everywhere.  He is in everything and illuminates everything.  We want to picture Him as looking like us, but He doesn't look like us.  You can't 'see' light.  It just "is." It allows us to function."

I have wondered about that.  How many times in the Bible does it say, "God is light?"  Dozens and dozens of times.  And light is everywhere at once.  It touches everyone at the same time.  We are bathed in light every morning.

I don't know what God looks like.  I am not able to tell if those passages are to be taken literally, or if they are just an analogy.  But I know what God feels like.  I know how He sounds.  And no, it is not a literal "feeling".  It is not a literal "voice."  But I know it when He speaks to me.  I know it is Him.

He loves me.  And sometimes He likes me.  I'm trying to be the kind of person that he will like.  I don't want to embarrass Him.  I go by His name.  Christ-ian.

TaDah.  The house in Pryor is empty.  Totally.  Five friends came yesterday and helped me load the rest of it all up.  Then Sally vacuumed.  Pat pulled all the nails out of the wall.  I filled the holes with putty and painted.  JoAnn painted the baseboards and hauled off all the plants.  And Coy broke down all the boxes and filled the trash cans.  I emptied the refrigerator--there were strange unidentifiable things in there.  Pat threw most of it out.

I now live in Edmond.  I feel like an albatross has been lifted from my neck--to get everything done.  The garage here is a mess, but every day I open a couple of boxes and put stuff where it goes.  It doesn't feel like home yet.  I have no memories from this house.  I left those behind.

I am reading in the three little letters that John wrote.  The second and third are so short that you can do them in five minutes--which is just about the length of my attention span.

In 1 John 1:1 "What was from the beginning, what we have heard, what we have seen with our eyes, what we beheld and our hands handled, concerning the Word of Life..."  John starts his letter with an affirmation of what is true.  True beyond any doubt.

He has touched Christ.  Heard him.  Seen him.  John is covering the senses.  He is explaining in this letter in a method that common people can understand.  John is taking the witness stand to testify to the authenticity of a risen Lord.  Jesus.

If I were the judge, I would rule for the resurrection--even if John alone were the only witness.  But there are others.  Dozens and dozens of them.

He is alive.  He is our God

I washed every sheet in the house today.  Six loads.  I was thinking of my grandmother while I was doing it and how she had to get wood, light a fire, hang the old iron kettle, scrub everything on a washboard, dump out the water and fill it again to rinse everything--then wring it all out as best she could and hang it on the line to dry.

And we complain.  What a blessing a washing machine and dryer are.  When I got married, I didn't have a washer or dryer so I did the wash in the bathtub and hung it on a line outside.  But even at that, I didn't have to build a fire to heat water and I could do everything inside where the weather was good.

Sometimes our lives need a good scrubbing.  We get into a habit of doing things like we have always done them, when we need to make a change or two.  Like finding a convenient time to read our Bible.  Like forming a habit of talking to God.

I have been going through the "Drawers" that I told you about and am amazed how much needs to be thrown away.  But for eleven years, I have been stuffing things in those three drawers that I didn't know what to do with, and never looking at any of it again.

I am putting things away in the cabinets.  I have to develop a new pattern.  I have to figure out where I have put things.  It is all strange.  But it has been wonderful asking myself, "Do I really need that?"  As a result, I have filled up boxes with things I don't really want.  Or need.  Or ever use.

My grandmother told me, "Honey, I didn't have it so hard.  When I got through with the wash water, I just threw it on the floors.  There were so many cracks between the boards that the water ran through to the dirt under the house.  But the floors got a scrubbing.  You girls have such nice houses, you have to wax your floors.  We didn't have anything, so there wasn't anything to take care of but the animals.

Well, it finally happened.  I had a meltdown.  AT&T is the most awful carrier.  I spent two hours on the phone. They dropped my calls--so you know the drill, I had to go back through the "punch 1, punch 2"..... rigamarole.  And then I got someone who was impossible to understand.  And then, and then, you know the deal.  I finally gave up out of frustration.  I have no internet.  I have to go to Becky's to post.

I will try to get internet service again tomorrow.

Whoever said it was going to be easy.  I am always amazed at the number of people who say that if there was a God that He wouldn't let anything bad happen to us.  I've never understood where they are coming from.  We are all born into the same world, and we all have to learn to deal with our individual problems.  I'm not dealing with AT&T very well right now.

And when I went through the "to go" line this morn to get pancakes and sausage, I got home with no sausage.  I paid for it, I just didn't get it.

But.  A good thing happened.  I found my Bible.  I found my check book.  I found the box with the lamps in it so I can see to read. Things are looking up.

Carolyn calls me every day.  She is such a good friend.  She knows I didn't want to move, don't want to be here and miss everyone back in Pryor.  But I am smiling.  And there are good things about it.  I have a lot of family here.  I will adjust.  I always have.

Matthew 14: 1  "Let not your heart be troubled...."  I get it.  I'm just having to keep reminding myself that God loves me and he won't give me anything more than I can bear.
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I guess you didn't leave me the week that I was moving and didn't write.  The blog shows unusual activity.  Super.  I love knowing you are out there.

Pat's husband Tom took me to Pryor and cleaned the garage.  I wish I could say it was done, but there are probably two more days of work left.  When I wasn't looking, he threw a bunch of stuff out.  That was good.  I couldn't do it.  So I tried not to watch him.  We stopped in Tulsa and my granddaughter, Beth, went through everything we had piled in the back of the pickup and took a ton of stuff.  She and Tony are newlyweds and need everything.  Good.  I don't need it.  And don't have time to deal with it.

I'm not going to get a garden in.  Makes me sad.  But the flower beds are in need of major attention.
That will keep me busy.

God intended for us to work.  When he gave the garden to Adam, he, "...took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it." Gen. 2:15  I feel like I'm not doing the will of God if I don't plant tomatoes and okra.  I want something to cultivate and "keep."  I will build raised beds as soon as the house is put together.  That way I will be ready for next year.

I like to work.  I never work straight through a project, however.  I start something, sit and read, start something else etc..., and by the end of the day I have five or six projects going on.  I always go back to what I am working on.  I always finish what I start.  Just not all at once.  I told you once that I get the best and most work done when there is a project that I don't want to do.  I put it off by doing something else.  Procrastination works really well for me.

Proverbs 21:2 "Every man's way is  right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the hearts."  I think my heart is okay.

Today, I went through all the stuff that came out of "The Drawer."  You know the one I mean.  The one that catches all the finger nail clippers, paper clips, odd keys, pieces of things you found lying around that you are sure you will need--so you can't throw any of it away.  I had three drawers like that.

I dumped all of them into a couple of grocery bags and did a Scarlett O'Hara.  "I'll think about that tomorrow."  Well tomorrow came.  I turned the bags upside down on the dining room table and dug in.  There were strange things in there.  A toggle, a square screw, etc...and on and on.  If I didn't know where it came from, I tossed it.  It felt great.

We accumulate junk in our spiritual life as well.  I am rereading "The Saving Life of Christ" by Ian Thomas.  It was the book that changed my life.  Everyone has a book like that.  I equated with him when he said, "I was exhausted by the Christian life.  I was doing everything possible to be an exemplary Christian and was worn out with all the "doing good."  He told his own account of the day he got on his knees and said to God, "I can't do this anymore."

And he said that he heard a voice in his soul that said, "You've been doing for me for seven years all the things that I have been waiting to do through you."

"Faithful is he who calls you who also will do it."  1 Thessalonians 5:24  You don't have to grunt and groan to be what God wants.  He just wants you to be willing to be his servant.

My daughter Pat came over this morning and opened boxes of books.  We got them all on the bookcases, but not in any order.  I bet there were twenty or more Bibles.  Ken's, mine, my mom's, my dad's, Ken's mom and dad's--and that was just the King James versions.  I gave a bunch of them away--so I was surprised that there were so many of them left.

All I need is two.  I am addicted to King James because of the poetic language, and I have to have the Living Bible to make everyday sense of it all.  Some very close "Marine Friends" of ours got us started in the Thompson's Chain Bible in 1962.  When our friend retired, he went to work as Billy Graham's personal assistant for the next forty-five years.   Henry and Betty Holly.  Great friends from our past.

My Bible looks like a rat's nest.  Coffee spills on the pages, tears in the edges, missing leather where Squig tried to chew a little Holy Scripture, and pencil notes on most of the pages--some pages are so worn out I can't even read the notes that I wrote.  Forty-five years is a long time.

I like to write in my Bible.  If I hear something I want to remember, I write it in the margins.  Otherwise I forget it.  There is too much to remember and my memory has gone South.  And when I teach that particular part of Scripture again, I don't have to do as much research.

I told you that Genesis is the book I have spent many hours in.  The first and second chapters of Genesis in my Bible look like a mess.  Very stained.  Six or seven chapters later, the pages are white because I didn't spend as much time there.

I haven't found my Bible yet.  I thought I put it in the car.  I didn't.  I feel rather lost without it.  The words are the same in all the Bibles on the book shelf, but they just doesn't "feel" right.

I unloaded half of my car today.  It looked like Steinbeck's "Grapes of Wrath."  I still have to go back and do the garage.  I will never use brake fluid, steering power fluid, engine oil, motor oil, and several thousand other things that Ken left.  I'll just call someone to come and get it all.

And tools.  Saws, hammers, nails, screws, tire pump, battery charger, etc...I will never use any of that.  I am captive to paying for service on the cars and house from now on.  I will keep a hammer and screw driver.  I can use those.  And all the garden stuff.

As a single person, you have horrible expenses.  And taxes.  My friends who have lost their husbands tried to warn me about the hike there would be in taxes.  Seems stupid.  Your income drops, and your taxes go up.  Why?  I don't get it.  And every time something breaks, you have to call someone.

Oh well, God is in control of it all.  "Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's."  It will all come out in the wash.  I have to find a new church to render to.

My grandson Steven drove to Pryor from Dallas, helped me do a load of stuff.  We loaded his car, and my car, and then he drove to Edmond and unloaded both of them.  Grandsons are wonderful things.  My son-in-law Craig has been the greatest blessing.  He has installed lights, lined up contractors and supervised their work, and a million other things.

My wonderful realtor, Jeff, called today to see how I was doing.  Aren't people a blessing.  We are social creatures.  Made in God's image so he must be a social God.  I'm sure he would love to hear your voice.  Why don't you say, "Hello, God" today.  "I've been thinking about you, and just wanted to say thank you."  I work at remembering to say hello.

Well, I didn't make it and write on Monday.  But I'm back.  Nightmare city.  My advice:  Don't ever move.  I still don't have WiFi, or a TV, or my Apple Cord.  Who knows where anything is.  My IPad is gone.  And none of the lamps have shades.  But.....All is well.  I am opening one box at a time.  The kitchen is functional.  And last night I found my special pillow, and slept in my new home and there were sheets on the bed.  Praise God.

I stayed all night with my brother while things were crazy last week, and he told me a story about our dad that I had never heard.  Dad always wore a suit and tie to church.  Always.  And when he went visiting the sick, or lost, he put on his suit and tie.  There came a day when he could no longer go to church.  So he would watch a sermon on the TV.  But before the program started, he would go put on his suit and tie.  When the program was over, he would go change back into his regular clothes.  I guess he felt he wasn't ready to worship without the proper attire.

I am a very orderly person.  I keep a clean house.  Very clean.  But when they moved the buffet, the chest of drawers and the other big pieces that hadn't been moved in eleven years, I was horrified.

I wonder if our lives are like that.  Clean on the outside and dirty underneath.  I hope not.  I like to keep short accounts with God.