I've been putting off hanging a huge oil painting of poppies above my bed because it weighs so much.  I bought the picture in 1962 in Alexandria, Virginia and have always loved it.  This morning, I crawled up on the bed with my shoes on--for balance--and measured and marked and measured and marked the wall again.  Drove the nails and started tugging the picture up the wall over the head of the bed--it weighed a ton.  At one point I was standing on one foot balancing the bottom of the picture on my raised knee trying to get the picture wire on the hooks--two hooks for leveling.

It took me 30 minutes, but I finally got it up there.  And....It was off center.  How that happened, I still can't figure out.  I measured twice!  I don't have the emotional will to start over.  I think I'd rather scoot the bed over one inch--which I am not strong enough to do.  I'm going to way-lay the next man neighbor or relative that comes by to help either center the picture or move the bed for me.

There are so many things I can't do any more.  It irritates the be-goodie out of me.  I know what I want to do, and get halfway through before I am forced to give up and admit I can't get it done.  It is a major frustration.  I used to be able to do anything I wanted to do.

Yesterday, I went out to water the plants that I put in--its been dry here--and couldn't get the hose hooked up.  I struggled with it for five or ten minutes before I got it done.  Simple things like that take forever anymore.  Small motor skills like threading a needle.

But.........I can drive, and do almost anything I want, unless it requires lifting something heavy--or small hand maneuvers such as screwing on a hose nozzle.  I can't seem to get the two parts to line up unless I get down to eye level.  Ridiculous.  I'm down on the ground on my knees trying to hold  the hose cap and twist it at the same time.

If you are still able to do everything you set your mind to, you need to thank God.  There will come a day you can't do it anymore and it will come as a shock.  It will make you mad.  I give marching orders to my body all the time and nothing happens.  My mind thinks I am still twenty-five.  I'm not going to quit trying to do everything for myself.  I may fail, but giving up is not in my nature.