The more people in your family, the more joys and more heartbreaks you will have.  Sometimes I feel like a pin cushion. And sometimes so full of happiness I feel like I will burst.  And the longer you live, the more of both you will have.

The cardiologist cleared me for surgery.  Said my heart was excellent and strong.  For a heart that doesn’t beat on its own, that’s good news.  I’m due for my fourth pacemaker.  Thank God for medical science.  Now I just have to decide to let a doctor operate on my back.  I’m almost there.  But having a doctor in the family (my brother) clues me in on all the things that can go wrong.  

My brother Bill has had every surgery that can be done on a person’s back.  And the fusion done on his discs has broken down.  He said he saw an x-ray of his spine recently and realized that it is totally shot.  He will have to live with what he has at this point.  I just wonder if trying to fix my back is worth it after watching all Bill has been through.

Ken, (a true Marine) always said that pain is just weakness leaving the body.  He even had a pillow embroidered with that sentence.  It’s in a chair in the back bedroom.  Every time I pass through I see it and remind myself of that.  And consider the source--Ken was tough.  Getting old is not particularly pleasant...I’m trying to do it with grace and some days I succeed.  Others...well the alternative is to die young and I’m blessed that didn’t happen.  I’m at what they say is a ripe old age.  Ripe.